Private Lessons, First Sprints (oh, and first burns on Zelda Rails V4) || R2V5

I just went to the track and did my first sprinting since hurting my knee. It felt good to fly around the track. And then I helped a girl try to find her key that she lost while working out (specifically while doing abdominal exercies; the most notorious exercises for key loss). However, none of us found it. But it was nice to come together for a common cause, or at least it was nice for me, I have no idea if it was nice for her. God, I wanted to find that key.

But sprinting! Sprinting! Sprinting is one of my favorite activities, and one that I’ve been reticent to do since hurting my knee, since your body is basically going full tilt. But as humans we’re MADE to sprint, and we should be sprinting often. Never jog; if you jog you’re an asshole. But sprint often. Basically our ancestors spent HUGE amounts of time walking, foraging, etc, and then every once in awhile A) Running for their lives, or B) Running to take something else’s life. So walk a lot. And every once in awhile sprint. If you want to feel amazing.

In ACTUAL CLIMBING NEWS, I started taking private classes at Vertical World yesterday. Yesterday I climbed twice: once in the early afternoon for my lesson, and once in the evening with homies. The lesson went….not that well. It felt very unstructured, I didn’t feel that strong, and I just felt like a bunch of information was getting thrown at me, none of it hugely useful, and at the same time like NO information was getting absorbed. Like, it sort of felt like when you’re climbing with your way stronger friend who’s actually not you’re friend and you’re kind of nervous around. Like, you still learn stuff, but it’s kind of weird.

HOWEVER, that’s exactly the reason I paid for five lessons up front. It’s probably going to take awhile for the instructor and I to feel comfortable around each other. It’s going to take awhile for him to figure out a plan for me, or for me to demand that a plan be figured out for me. Cuz I think that’s what I want, a training plan. Like, I want a plan to get me to V7, aka V6, aka V5 — aka I still haven’t climbed V3 since coming back from injury but that’s more for lack of tryhing than not being able to do it. I have a thing where I basically only want to try things at my limit. This is something I should examine, because if I weren’t grade chasing as much I’d probably do more volume, and do more climbs just because they’re interesting. And that’s how you get better, really. When you’re having fun and climbing a ton.

Anyway.

As far as gym climbing goes I feel stronger than ever. When I’m feeling strong I usually send at least one new black and make progress on a blue. And when I feel less strong I usually send one or more new orange and make progress on a black. Blues no longer seem as intimidating as they once did. Did I say this in the last blog? I have the memory of a fish. Which I ironically just tried to fix by eating a tin of lightly smoked sardines.

Slash I had mate for breakfast this morning. And it was delicious.

And I also fasted for 15 hours today. Which was bomb.

And….

Finally, I MIGHT be climbing outside tomorrow, and if I don’t I’ll DEFINITELY be climbing outside on Sunday. And maybe even make it all the way to the storied town of Leavenworth on Sunday, where maybe I could FINALLY put down my Dirty Dancing V4 project, and maybe attempt some of my first V5’s (Pentaphobia and Alfalfa vs. Spanky amongst others). Either way, this is the time of year for Leavenworth. In a month it’ll be way too hot, and there won’t be any point in crossing the mountains, unless it’s to climb at night or unless we get a cold spell (which now that I think about it does happen quite a bit in June). It’s time to start on some new projects. And it’s time to get psyched.

Speaking of new projects, how could I forget????? I tried Zelda Rails V4 for the first time last weekend, and I felt like it almost went down! I could do the first few moves, and I could do the last few moves. But I couldn’t do the crux, which was getting to the good left hand crimp at the lip. However, since then I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve also watched a bunch of videos, so if I’m feeling strong next sesh I think there’s a good chance it could go.

Road to V5!

Aka The Road to Index.

Aka I might need to take a nap right now.

 

A Capital Climbing Day | Road to V4

Happiness is a homemade brush extension on a boulder you’re about to eat shit on. Photo: Carolyn.

Yesterday I went to the Index River Boulders despite the fact that I was feeling under the weather, or maybe BECAUSE I was feeling under the weather and didn’t want to spend all day wallowing on my boat. I think yesterday was a perfect example of where the phrase “under the weather” probably comes from. The day before I’d gone swimming in the semi-frigid October Lake Washington water, and then promptly taken a hot shower, and then promptly walked around with my wet hair exposed to the elements. This is supposedly a recipe for catching a cold, and that appears to be exactly what I did. Yesterday I woke up, it was cloudy and shitty and generally depressing outside, and my voice sounded like I had a bullfrog living in my larynx, and I generally felt slightly fatigued. But there’s the keyword: slightly. This felt like a quintessentially common cold to me, and so I decided to press east towards the mountains, not least because I had a hotel reservation in Leavenworth for that night.

My first step on yesterday’s fall odyssey were the boulders on the Skykomish River near Index. These boulders are sometimes called the “Boulder Drop Boulders,” since they’re right next to some kayaking feature which is apparently called a “Boulder Drop” (or something. I have no idea. I’ve never river kayaked in my life. Is it fun? It looks kind of lame. But that was exactly what I said about bouldering until I tried it). My goal when going to these boulders yesterday was 16-fold: 1) Send Unnamed V3 (around the corner from Finger Crack V3), 2) Get some good burns in on Finger Crack V3, and 3) Maybe send the River Warm-Up V0 problem. If you remember from a previous post, I ate shit on Unnamed V3 one day when Carolyn and I were there, falling all the way from the lip, barely landing on the pad and in the process rolling my ankle, slightly spraining my wrist, and almost hitting my head. So another goal was just to not do that. Bouldering by yourself with one pad is significantly different from bouldering with a bunch of homies and a bunch of pads. I’ve never really experienced the latter. One time Barold, Carolyn and I went bouldering together and had THREE PADS. Can you imagine the decadence? We were punting off highballs just for fun. Carolyn did a swan dive off French Slab V2 just to take advantage of the multitude of protection we had placed at the base of the boulder.

Long story short: I sent Unnamed V3, and it glorious. Start on the side-pull and the undercling, move left grabbing the ledge above you. Get your hands on a good sloping ledge and then get your left foot up on the ledge on the left side of the boulder, and then reach up and grab the mini-jug just before the lip. The problem is the lip is slopey, and once you’ve grabbed the lip your work is not over, because everything about the boulder wants to push you off to the right and off balance. You must fight this feeling with not a little bit of cunning and cool-headedness. Yesterday I got to the lip very easily (the tenuous slopers you chill on just before reaching for the hold below the lip are so sick, you feel like you’re gonna fall off but they hold you perfectly), but then couldn’t top out because I felt off balance. Then the SECOND time I got to the lip I took my time, got my feet figured out, and the top out was actually pretty easy. I basically just vaulted my person onto the top, which was covered in moss and leaves, not unlike a bed. And then I rejoiced in what was only the fourth V3 I’ve ever sent!!!!! The fanfare!!!!! The glory!!!!! The sponsorship deals!!!!!!! The feeling of accomplishment!!!!!!

And then I peaced out and drove to Leavenworth.

Well actually before I peaced out and drove to Leavenworth I gave Finger Crack V3 a few burns and yes, despite getting shut down, made some progress. Do I feel like it will go next session? Maybe. Do I feel like it will go in the next couple sessions? Definitely.

Fall is upon us, and the drive to Leavenworth yesterday was nothing short of orange-tinged ecstasy. I passed most of the drive in a sort of reverie induced by black tea, the happiness of sending a project, and the uncertainty of what I was going to do that night. Carolyn and I were supposed to hang out but hanging out was probably not a good idea given the current state of my health. I figured if I DID go all the way to Leavenworth though I might as well climb, and so after chilling in the Swiftwater parking lot for a second and fondling some of the jugs on Hate Rock, I decided roll on down to The Labyrinth, an area I’d never climbed before and which MIGHT be the subject for another post, or might not since I only sent two problems (one of which was a V2 flash!!!!).

But anyway, for now it’s sunny and beautiful outside, and I’m going to get out of my sweatpants and off my boat. Though actually I might chill here just a little bit longer and read Pride and Prejudice, since I think Ms. Bennett is finally about to pull her head out of her ass and tell Mr. Darcy how she feels. God, I hope so.

Did people boulder in Victorian England?

– Wetzler

I Could Talk About

 

Today’s post is sponsored by Ugly Mug Cafe* on Dravis, who sold me a matcha latte this morning for $5.95 this morning and still had the gall to ask if I wanted to add a tip. Fuckers.

*Today’s post is absolutely not sponsored by Ugly Mug Cafe. The matcha latte was actually delicious and it’s my own damn fault for only tipping because I felt obligated.

Good morning! I have a wonderful post for you today. That’s actually not true. I have no post for you today. Nothing is “in store,” as they say. And actually I just found out that I need to leave the boat in 15-20 to pick up a friend, so that means this post is going to be harried, hurried, and possibly just really bad.

What could I talk about today?

Well, I could talk about how I MIGHT go climbing today. After I hang out with my home-boy today I might drive over to Index, Washington, United States of America, to try my fingertips on the elusive Unnamed V3, around the corner from such classics as Hittin’ the Rail (V5?) and Finger Crack V3. What a perfect day it would be if I did the following: hung out with my home-slice, drove to Index, day-flashed Unnamed V3, sent Finger Crack V3 in the first couple attempts, sent The Jewel V3 in the first few attempts, and then hauled my man-body up to Leggo My Ego and actually put in decent session on it. Wouldn’t that be a perfect day? I’m asking you: Would it be a perfect day.

It would be a perfect day.

I’m so alone.

What else could I talk about?

I could talk more about our sessions in Leavenworth the other day but I don’t want to do that. I could finally review the Miuras I got from La Sportiva recently that have (sort of) revolutionized my climbing (aka given me better edges and better grip but haven’t really made my technique better). I could talk about Mexico. I could talk about what I’m going to do when I get back from Mexico (maybe drive down to Bishop and camp there for a couple weeks). I could talk about the song I’m listening to right now, November, by Max Richter. I could talk about how badly I want the Canadian border to open. I could talk about how I want even more badly the Chilean border to open so I can go there after Christmas and spend January and February there before coming back from the spring climbing season (is this really how I live my life now).

Or I could talk about something else.

Part time love is the life round here

We’re never done.

What I think I’m ACTUALLY going to do though is talk about none of this. I’m going to finish listening to the James Blake song I’m listening to right now. I’m going to watch a little of the Machester City vs. Leeds United game. And then I’m going to go pick up my friend and get yet another (and another, and another, and another??????) matcha latte. And then we’re gonna come back to my boat and chill in the “sun,” aka the 67-degree misty weather.

Anyway. Maybe I’ll have more for you tomorrow. Aka I’ll definitely have more for you tomorrow. Aka I might have more for you tomorrow. Aka I smell like a girl because I got “Moroccan Sea Salt Spray” and it’s for women and the word “bombshell” shows up repeatedly in the copy.

Hair looks great, though.

– Wetzler

Unnamed V3 aka A Day in Index | Road to V4!

Good morning, Friends and Lovers. Friends of course, in the platonic sense, and lovers also sort of in the platonic sense, i.e. lovers of bouldering, lovers of good literature, lovers of good tea, lovers of getting lost in foreign lands, lovers of Vancouver, lovers of crossing borders, lovers of Leavenworth, lovers of Index, etc. etc. You are all my friends and lovers. We are lovers. Lovers of life. Lovers of yerba mate and earl grey tea.

Etc., etc.

(Etc.).

OK, sorry, I really am just waking up right now, and I am having a cup of earl grey tea mixed with coconut/almond creamer, but my brain still hasn’t woken up. I actually woke up at a like 8:30am today, which is WAY past when I normally wake up, and I credit this to the fact that I’m sleeping MUCH better now that I’ve moved the fan further away from my person, and also because of what will be one of the subjects of today’s blog, a somewhat dastardly fall I took while bouldering yesterday at the River Boulders near Index.

That’s right, friends: I fell.

But it’s OK. Honestly, I’m kinda glad it happened. And while I rolled my right angle and gently sprained my right wrist and almost hit my head, I’m just glad it wasn’t worse, because it could’ve been much worse.

But it wasn’t worse.

It was fine.

Let me start at the beginning of yesterday, though. Let’s walk through the whole damn day, step by step. You don’t have anything better to do, right? You’re sitting at home “working remotely,” aka mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or watching YouTube videos or trying to figure out why your damn sourdough isn’t rising. So just take a second and let’s take a little stroll through my day yesterday. Because these fall days are beautiful, and yesterday, despite the fall, and even BECAUSE of the fall, was gorgeous.

OK. The beginning. I was at coffee in Queen Anne with Carolyn. Storyville. This place has AMAZING coffee but is expensive AF and apparently owned by Christians. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just something to note. The insane prices are most noteworthy.

Carolyn (bless her right ventricle) treated me to a DECAF soy latte, which hit the spot in so many ways. We sat there at the table on the sidewalk, watching people walk by, talking about our lives, a scent of fall in the air and leaves turning colors strewn about the sidewalk. A slight bite to the air, if you know what I mean, and the sun, which doesn’t rise quite as high, leaves a light that is distinctly fall-ish, enhancing the already beautiful colors of the leaves. In short, there’s nothing better than drinking good coffee outside a cafe with a friend on a beautiful fall day.

Then, I drove off alone to go boulder Index, and Carolyn went off to go sportclimb Exit 38, but 20 minutes into my drive she called and said her friend had bailed and could she come bouldering with me? I of course did a backflip inside my car and then calmly said, “Yeah, that sounds good. Where do you wanna meet?” We met at the Wal-Mart in Monroe, Washington, and I went inside to get some deodorant and browse, which was a singular experience. Take back our freedom!!!!! Don’t take our guns!!!! Build that f$#$ing wall! These are the rallying cries of the Monrovian. The best part is in the next town over, Startup (you can’t make up these names), someone has a banner on their fence that says (wait for it): “Viva la revolution. Take back our freedom.”

In how many ways is this funny. We could probably break this little banner down over the next 10 or so paragraphs, but I’ll keep my questions short. First of all, why “Viva la REVOLUTION” and not “Viva la REVOLUCION”??? Why is “revolution” in English when the first part is in Spanish???? Also, to what revolution are they referring? I assume, and this is the best part, that they’re sub- consciously referring to the Cuban Revolution, i.e. the advent of communism in that country, i.e. in many minds the antithesis of freedom.  BUT WHO KNOWS. WHO CAN GET IN THE COMPLEX MINDS OF THE WONDERFUL FOLKS OF STARTUP. Maybe this is actually WAY beyond me, and I’m the idiot here. Maybe they’re referring to the French Revolution and some kind of agrarian takeover. I JUST DON’T KNOW. But either way, I’m so intrigued. You’ve done it again, Startup.

(ok let’s take a quick intermission. tea time, coffee time, whatever. just get up and stretch a bit and then we’ll continue talking about the day).

OK, back.

After Wal-Mart in Monroe we drove to Index where we checked out the Lower Mound climbing area. I was fairly non-plussed (complete wrong use of that word). I don’t really care about sport climbing but it was cool and inspiring to stand at the bottom of some of these routes, following the bolts to the top as your neck begins to crik. I could see myself climbing many of the routes and instantly see the main difference between sport climbing and bouldering. Sport climbing is endurance, bouldering is difficulty. Take a V3 bouldering problem and stretch that over many moves and you have an insanely hard sportclimbing route.

ANWAY. Let’s get to the meat and potatoes. Carolyn and I then drove over to the River Boulders, just a hop skip and a pas de bourre from the Town Walls, and we walked down the path saying, “Copper wires! Copper wires! Copper wires!!!” because on one of the paths leading down to the boulders there are a bunch of copper wires cris-crossing it, and it looks like they were almost put there by design to make someone trip. I would’ve already tripped on them many times if I didn’t have the reactions of a Thompson’s Gazelle. And I didn’t want Carolyn to trip on them, so thus began our rallying cry.

My whole GOAL, as you’ll know from yesterday’s post, was to climb Finger Crack V3. I had watched videos on this climb, thought about the moves, even PRACTISED THEM IN THE SHOWER so that I would be ready for this boulder. And what happened? Well, it was wet. There was water in the crack. Even though it had been dry all day, there was water in the crack. So we had to improvise. We warmed up (Carolyn sent it in amazing fashion) on Unnamed V1 around the corner, and then started having cracks at Unnamed V3, which is just down from Unnamed V1. Unnamed V3 (which I really wish had a name), is a pretty fabulous problem. You start with a right hand on a sidepull and left hand on an undercling with your feet on a sloping ledge, traverse left a bit, grab a ledge above you, and then proceed to haul yourself up onto that ledge while reaching for a decent hold just below the lip. I didn’t have that much desire to session this boulder, but these were the proverbial lemons that our proverbial lives had given us, and sessioning it meant making the proverbial lemonade.

We were both giving it good go’s, and I was getting somewhat close (I’d sessioned it once before with Barold), and then I tried a somewhat different beta where I moved even further down the sloping ledge before reaching for the lip, and the beta worked because I was able to grab the hold just under the lip perfectly, and PULL MYSELF ONTO THE LEDGE, and then grab the lip, and then, and then…..

This is where things kind of broke down.

You see, the ledge before the lip was kinda wet. So by the time I got to the lip my hands were kinda wet. And even though I felt tremendously unstable I just, well, went for it.

And that’s when I remember falling from somewhat great heights to the pad below, BARELY catching the edge of the pad, rolling my right ankle slightly, spraining my right wrist slightly to break my fall, and ALMOST, ALMOST hitting my head on a rock right before I tumbled to a stop.

I sat on the ground for a second clutching my right wrist and breathing. “I’m fine,” I told Carolyn. I was 80% sure I was fine. I just lay there for a few moments, in the rocks. “That’s the gnarliest fall I’ve ever taken bouldering,” I said.

Eventually I got up and surveyed the extent of my injuries. I knew the next few minutes would tell the tale. If things got worse, something was wrong. If things got better, then I was in the clear.

And thankfully I’m pretty much in the clear. Though my wrist and ankle are feeling a bit tender today.

Now, that was basically the end of that session, and HERE’S THE DEAL:

I’m not bummed about it. In fact, I’m stoked. The fall could’ve been WAY WORSE and was an eye opener. When you don’t have proper pad setups and things are wet, DON’T PUSH YOURSELF. Also, I came REALLY close to sending that problem, and know I will when I go back. Also, I made some beta breakthroughs, i.e. figuring out how to solve problems, and that’s huge and actually the subject for a different post.

We got back in the car and had a nice drive back. All in all it was a good day, and I was stoked on the session. Now I have a good excuse to rest a few days and then, well, I’ll be back. Ready for dry granite, ready to send, and ready to see some damn larches.

Viva la revolution!

– Wetz

 

Going to Index! | Road to V4

getting rad n
Happiness is a couple of bouldering and an approach hike with a friend.

Good morning Where’s Wetzler readers and fellow boulderers!!!!!!!! And also good morning to those of you who don’t boulder though not quite as cheery a good morning because to be honest I’m saving most of my cheer for the boulderers since I consider the rest of you second class citizens. I’m kidding, of course. I might be kidding. I’m definitely not kidding. But I do consider the rest of you people!!!! I just don’t really understand how a discipline like bouldering could exist, could indeed be out there at your disposal, and you would decline to participate. I don’t understand it all. It’s beyond me. I cannot fathom it.

Anyway. I’m sitting on the boat right now drinking my customary earl grey tea mixed with some kind of non-dairy creamer. It’s not that I can’t tolerate dairy, it’s just that it makes me feel a little slow. And I can’t afford to feel slow today because I think I’m………………………………………………………….GOING TO INDEX (caps Yaweh’s). Yes, that’s right, friends, I think I’m going to Index today, aka everyone’s favorite hamlet west of the Cascades and east of Gold Bar, aka the whitewater rafting capital of the Skykomish Valley, aka the sport climbing capital of the Skykomish Valley, aka the town with the cute little park and the hotel that might not be a hotel and the general store where when you call to ask if they sell shovels because your car is stuck at the Skykomish River Boulders parking they’re rude to you and hang up.

Aka.

Now, I maybe shouldn’t be going to Index today because of my teres minor, aka my shoulder. My shoulder is not feeling great. In fact, it’s feeling pretty terrible. BUT, it’s really hard to figure out how it’s ACTUALLY feeling until I ACTUALLY climb. And the reason for that is because sometimes with these tendon and muscle injuries there’s also a nerve component, and what you mistake for an aggravated tendon might just be an aggravated nerve. It’s very possible I’ll get to the boulders today and think, Oh, damn, my shoulder actually feels bomber, and then proceed to CRUSH Finger Crack V3, CRUSH Unnamed V3 around the corner, semi-CRUSH slash at least attempt The Enigma V4, and semi-CRUSH slash mostly get shut down by The Jewel V3 and Leggo My Ego V6. But damn, I really wanna see if I can least do the techy section at the beginning of Leggo my Ego. Though that’s pretty much the whole boulder. I mean, you have the dyno, but the dyno looks pretty easy. Except that the landing is a sloping rock that might be kind of hard to cover with one pad. We’ll see what happens. First I actually have to get off my boat, get my stuff together, and make the drive out there.

(Sorry, just getting distracted by Leicester aka Jamie Vardy dismantling Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City. The announcer just said the phrase, “Country mile.” I find this infintely endearing and will try to use it at least once in conversation today even though I’ve never used this phrase. Maybe I can use it with the cashier at Safeway. Maybe I can use it at Trader Joe’s when I go there in the next 30 minutes.)

So yeah, that’s the plan for today: Go to Index. And if it’s for some reason not dry in Index then, well, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Because I don’t really feel like driving all the way out to Leavenworth today. That, for some reason, just seems immeasurably far. If I did go to Leavenworth today, though, I know where I’d stay. Not in the campground. Not in any of the dispersed camping. In fact, not even in Leavenworth at all. I’d be in Wenatchee, at everyone’s fourth favorite chain hotel, the SureStay by Best Western in East Wenatchee, a hop skip and a meniscus tear from the East Wenatchee Mall and two blocks from everyone’s 34th favorite Mexican Restaurant, El Porton, where the only thing bigger than the portions are the……Jesus I wish I could think of something funny to say here. But I can’t. And now I can’t blog anymore, either, because it’s time to get ready.

To Index!

– Wetz