Stuck in Second Gear || Chilling on the Road to Recovery

Chilling on the boat OF COURSE. Contemplating doing some job applications and also checking on the Amazon and Duolingo apps I did like a week ago. Amazon said they would DEFINITELY get back to me, but the only thing I’ve gotten so far is an email asking if I’d like to be contacted about “other jobs.” Is this an extremely oblique, obtuse, tetrahedral way of telling me I didn’t get the first job? Is it because the ad said they explicitly wanted “NATIVE” Spanish speakers and other than having lived in Bogota for three months and knowing a decent deal of Mexican slang I’m not technically a “native” Spanish speaker. What is a “native” Spanish speaker anyway?

I ran a mile in 7:08 this morning. This is my fastest post-LCL injury time. My previous was 8:27 and the fastest before that, though it was at least half a walk, was 10:57. My next goal is to break the seven-minute barrier. The problem is, much like my childhood ’91 Honda Civic, I’m stuck in second gear. I can’t crank it up to third gear because I haven’t cranked it up to third gear since getting hurt. Third gear, in case you’re wondering, is just below fourth gear, which is a sprint. Third gear is more of a canter. Second gear is a trot/jog. First gear is, of course, a walk. I think I probably COULD crank it up to third gear, but I’m afraid the clutch might get stuck or the accelerator might get stuck and next thing I know I’m streaming around Green Lake with my hair on fire and I blow an o-ring. Much of this injury is probably psychological. Today felt like a triumph, but it also felt pretty easy since I was just running straight. It’s the lateral movement that scares me.

Yesterday I went to SBP Poplar and renewed my membership. I hadn’t planned on doing this, but yesterday I had coffee and when I have coffee all bets are off. After coffee I fairly instantly got in my car, made a reservation for the next available climbing slot, drove across town (I wanted to check out Poplar since I hadn’t been there for awhile even though I was right next to the Fremont one), renewed my reservation, and started warming up. I did five minutes on the stationary bike. I hung for bit, doing scapula pull-ups and also the deepest-set crimps they have (my goal by the end of the summer is to be able to do a one-armed pull-up on the shallowest crimps they have). Then I finally started climbing, first a yellow, then a red, then a couple greens, another red, feeling like a red was tough and hating myself for it, and then, at the end, flashing a purple. I was PYSCHED on flashing a purple but it also had no business being a purple. And I wasn’t even going to write about this because “flashing a purple” makes it sound like I can climb again, when the truth is I’m terrified the whole time I’m climbing, I might be messing my knee up, it’s probably not advisable, and I don’t want to get my hopes up. When I climb right now I cannot fall. I have to do climbs I KNOW I can do, and then I have to downclimb these climbs. No heel hooking. No chucking to holds I’m not sure I can make. In a way it’s really good for my climbing because it forces me to be super precise. In the words of Jimmy Chin, “No mistakes today.”

I need someone to come visit me on my boat because when I don’t have visitors it slips into a state of relative squalor. Dishes go unwashed. Detritus piles up on the bench seat across from me.

It’s gloriously sunny (see: partly cloudy) and I’m going to pressure-wash the boat. The most exciting part of this is I get to wear my Xtra Tuffs, which aren’t that tough because after like a year they already had fissures in them. Apparently when they started getting made in China they became “not so tuff.”

Hmmmmmm, what else. God, I don’t want to do these job applications. Writing cover letters is painful. But at the same time I need to do something, I’m destined to do something, I can’t just sit on my boat. And going to the climbing gym for a terror-sesh once every few days isn’t quite cutting it.

Slash.