Job Applications???

I just applied to a job in Lille, France, because…why not? Working in Lille would be awesome. You’d be close to the UK, close to Paris but not IN Paris, close to Belgium, Amsterdam, Germany — I guess when you’re in Europe you’re pretty much close to everything.

There were a couple questions on the application that might cause a slight hiccup, namely, “Do you have the right to work in France?” to which I answered, “No,” only because there was no option for, “Kinda” (or, “Be sick if I did…”). So, this job PROBABLY won’t pan out. But a job like this is kind of ideal, since it’s a customer service job in Spanish, but you’d be living in France, which means you’d greatly improve both of those languages, along with the obvious excursion into north Belgium to perfect your Flemish (I’ve been dying to learn Flemish ever since, well, OK I have no desire to learn Flemish). But I absolutely aced the other questions on the application, like, “Have you ever worked for before?” and “Would you be willing to attend a paid, 2-4 week training?” (I answered an emphatic yes to both, especially since the paid training MIGHT be in Lithuania). Oh, to have a European Union passport. Or a Schengen Area passport. You people don’t know how good you’ve got it. I wish I could just waltz up to Norway and start raking in kroner — there’s nothing I’d like more in the world — but alas, my American citizenship makes things more difficult (I COULD work in Svalbard due to the Svalbard Treaty , but apparently you really need to speak Norwegian there, and my one phrase [Can I get a black tea?] might not cut it).

God, I want to earn kroner. So bad. I just want to SAY kroner. Over and over and over. And pay 40 kroner for croissants. And marry a Norwegian girl. And have all sorts of odd-looking, Bjork-like babies named Hans and Klaus and Ragnar.

Anyway, that’s what I was up to today. Applying for jobs. I really don’t want to work but I also really do. I know it’s kind of our purpose on earth, to contribute to society, and I know we’re hardwired to feel good when we contribute, and not feel that great when we don’t contribute. We like to live in societies, communities, we’re social animals, blah blah blah, Blink, Tipping Point, Like Water for Chocolate. Django, “Oh my God, did you guys do Rome? Did you do Florence? Did you do Sicily? Oh, we did Sicily last year. We’re thinking of doing Croatia this year. And then maybe next year we’ll do Crete. And then the year after that we’ll do Egypt,” “Oh my god, I’m totally into rock climbing,” “Oh my god, I like, LOVE whiskey,” “Oh my god, I like, love tacos,” “He’s doing really well! He just got made partner at his firm. Yeah, we’re thinking of buying a house outside the city…” “It’s going really well! Yeah, six months, can’t believe it, this guy’s gonna be coming out anytime!” “You know what, he’s doing really well, but his mom’s health hasn’t been that great lately, so we’re gonna be going back to Michigan soon to visit her. Yeah, it’s been tough…”

Etc, etc.