……… || R2V6

The Road to V6 continues. And as I stated in a previous post: It’s probably going to be a long road. Well, no, actually I hope to send a V6 this summer, and possibly even a V7. And maybe even a V8. And while we’re at it let’s just throw in The Method V12, my lifetime bouldering accomplishment goal. The Method, if you’re not familiar, is located at The Apron Boulders in Squamish, BC. It involves a face/slab climb up to an undercling and then some tricky moves on slopers to get to the top. It’s a coveted problem, mostly just because of how cool it looks. It’s not some thuggy one mover where you’re cranking on a roof and then throwing a heel 15 feet above your head. It’s a combination of delicate and powerful, sharp and smooth, yin and yang, day and night, good and evil.

I’m having my second serving of collagen this morning. That’s right, in an effort to mitigate soft tissue injuries, I’m back on the collagen. My poison picked this time is by Ancient Nutrition and is formulated for joint mobility. It’s got several types of collagen, including one only found in eggshell membrane. I’ve been taking it for a few days now, and I must say I….don’t feel a huge difference. But I might feel some difference. And it’s only been a few days. (Ed’s note: I’ve climbed the last two days [yesterday was a baby sesh, albeit], and I don’t feel THAT sore. Would that have been possible without the collagen? Do I have tendonitis in 57% of all of my tendons?)

I need to go to Whole Foods and get a matcha bar.

The plan is to climb tomorrow in Gold Bar/Index, though I’m not sure exactly where. I’m done (at least for right now) saying, “OK, I’m gonna go here and I’m gonna give it everything I have on X boulder.” Instead I’m back in “intuition mode,” where I drive out to Gold Bar and MAYBE walk up to the Clear Cut Boulders. Or maybe I do something on the Warm-Up Boulder. Or maybe I try something on the Five-Star Boulder. Or maybe I go all the way to Index and go the River Boulders, or the Zelda Boulders, etc etc. No real plan, really, just a guy with two tri-panel crashpads and a pair of Miuras. Though I think, I THINK, that I need to start trying to haul both pads up to the Clear Cut boulders. It’s only an extra 15 pounds, and the amount of protection it provides is ridiculous. When you’ve only got one pad you’re limited on the boulders you can really try hard on. Not that I ever try hard.

But let’s say I DID try hard on a couple boulders tomorrow. Just for fun. These boulders might be:

Cabin Stabbin’ V4

Serenity Now V4+

Road to Zion V5

Sobriosity V6

Ryan’s Problem (Climax Control) V6

The Engineer V-whatever

I don’t really see myself trying too hard on any boulders other than these. The most probably are Cabin Stabbin’ and Serenity Now, and the least probable is either Road to Zion or The Engineer, since I have it in my head that any fall from up top on The Engineer results in catastrophe.

But whatever.

For NOW, I’m going to drive over to my parents’ house to pick up the queen bed frame so I can get ready for my move to Blaine!

Oh yeah and my friend Matt and I are probably driving to Alaska on Sunday.

…….

– Wetz

 

 

Time to Fast || R2V6 #3

For some reason I never posted this. But I kinda like it. So here it is:

OK OK OK OK. I’ll talk about the session at Smith Rock yesterday. I don’t want to talk about it because it involves rope climbing, but I’ll talk about it anyway.

Basically what happened was this: a crew of five of us went down to Redmond, Oregon ostensibly to climb at Smith. The first day though people went skiing. Adi and I didn’t ski but rather hung out with her friend who lives in Bend and played with her dogs. Which was the correct decision. I haven’t skied in 22 years, and so I need to plot my return to glory carefully. Also it would’ve cost $150. So yeah, not skiing was the right decision.

Then YESTERDAY we went to Smith. But first we stopped at Junction Coffee in Redmond. If you’re in the area, I highly recommend this place. The coffee is delicious. The décor is tasteful. And when we were there they had soothing French music playing. I got an oat milk latte and it was sublime. If I wasn’t fasting today I might go back there. Though probably not because I’m sure Bend has great coffee too. Does Bend have good coffee? I have no idea.

The main thing you need to know about Smith Rock is that it’s BEAUTIFUL. Beautiful in an, “Oh my god this place is idyllic I wonder what it looked like before the influence of humans there were probably animals and shit way.” Beautiful in a, “Damn this kind of like a mini Yosemite” way. Beautiful in like a, “God I hate rope climbing literally the only thing you do is bake at the bottom of the cliff and yell at each other” way.  It must be said though that my body was not feeling in tip top shape, so I didn’t try any remotely hard climbs. Had I tried harder climbs, had I LED, I might’ve been more stoked on the climbing. But my body just didn’t feel good, hence the reason I’m fasting right now.

OK so that was Smith. Then afterward I went to the Meadow Camp Boulders for the first time and tried to climb Centrifuge V2 and Zithromax V2. I got shut down on both. I think they’re both fairly stout V2’s. Zithromax seemed kinda sick. I figured out some beta for the start and could probably huck to a good hold up on the arete but wanted to do it static. The landing was not good. I had one tri-panel pad that was basically folded in half on a rock. I’m debating going back there tomorrow for round two, and I’ll probably hike there today from the LOGE, where I’m staying, to check out the rest of the area. The best thing to do on a rest day is check out new blocs.

ANYWAY, as I mentioned before I’m also fasting. The goal for this fast is 72 hours, which is a big goal. I just passed the 16 hour mark, which is actually no small feat. Fasting is all about mindset. If you have it in your head you’re DEFINITELY GOING TO FAST UNTIL YOU WITHER, you’ll fast for a long time. But if you think, Ohhhhh, I’ll just see how it goes. Maybe I’ll do 24 hours, maybe I’ll do 36, then you’ll probably do 16 and go straight to Chipotle and drown yourself in a burrito (which is actually what I did yesterday for my last meal and it was delicious).

So yeah, the goal for the rest of the time in Bend is to fast. The plan right now is to stay till Wednesday morning, still fasting, and then drive back to Seattle, still fasting, and then break the fast at 17:33 on Wednesday. If this happens, it will be my longest fast ever by a day. Mostly I’m stoked right now to get to the 20 hour mark, because that’s apparently when a lot of detoxing happens. I got some detox tea yesterday from Safeway and so far today am actually DOING things. One trap you can fall into when fasting is just laying around all day watching the minutes tick by.

But anyway. Bouldering. Tomorrow. Tomorrow maybe I’ll go to Bar Fly V6, or maybe Blood Knuckle V5, or maybe I’ll just say screw it and go back to Zithromax and throw myself at it and not send it and start crying.

 

Sagebrush and Juniper

I’m standing in front of the supplements in Whole Foods in Bend, Oregon trying to find a certain kind of turmeric. It’s apparently liquid soluble and thus more “bioavailable,” and it must be said that when I took it before my digestive system felt better than ever, though that could’ve been because I was supplementing magnesium or any number of other factors. In the end I don’t find it and thus leave with only two wares: a hop tea by Hop Lark, and a Zevia black tea blood orange flavor. Neither of these have any calories, which is ideal. I can’t have calories. I’m fasting.

I traverse the parking lot to the Costco section where I parked. This is Bend, Oregon, known as an outdoor paradise, but I’m in a Costco parking lot, which is decidedly less paradisiacal. My plan when I get in the car, though, after drinking one of the beverages, is to drive east. I don’t know where I want to go, just not here, somewhere without cars, where the only things are dirt, sagebrush and juniper trees. I want to hear the sound of the wind on the high desert, to not be surrounded by cars and buildings and people. This will prove more difficult than I imagined.

I head east on Neff Road and pretty soon things are how I wanted. It’s just me and a road. No traffic behind or in front of me, and the houses are gone now, given way to ranches, and pretty soon these are sparse, too. With the help of Google Maps I make my way to where I think there should be some trails to hike up to some cliff-looking formations where there might be boulders, too. But every time I think I’m getting close the road either becomes a dead end or a private road or simply impassable. Every damn parcel of land out here is owned by someone. Every sage bush, every juniper tree, has a human owner, and the ones I see in the distance on the butte next to the cliff, though presumably free of any owner, are blocked by private land. There are no trails, only roads that turn into driveways adorned with hostile “Private. No trespassing signs.”

Private driveway.

Dead end.

No trespassing.

The butte looms in front of me like a dream and that’s all it will ever be for me, since access looks impossible. I briefly contemplate just driving down one of the private driveways but imagine some guy in a cowboy hat toting a gun sauntering off his porch to point it at me. I don’t feel welcome out here. I’m sure the people are welcoming once you get to know them but if you’re just driving around in your ’97 Subaru looking for a place to look at some damn rocks it certainly doesn’t feel welcoming.

Finally I give up and turn around and start driving towards Bend. After a few minutes I stop to pee and there’s a dead coyote lying near the road, flies buzzing around it, its fur the same color as the brown grass, soon to be fertilizer for the brown grass. I thought it might be silent here but above me power lines crackle and every 30 seconds or so a car comes screaming by. When I finally get back on the road I’m immediately tailgated by a man in a Jeep who’s so close I can see individual stubble clusters on his face. Eventually the degenerate passes me, and I’m free again for a short while. I have the road (sort of) to myself. As we get closer to Bend, though, the traffic becomes thicker, and pretty soon I’m back at the strip mall that houses the Whole Foods where I was just looking at the supplements. I failed on my quest to go to the butte, but it still felt good to get out of the city for a bit, amongst the juniper and the sagebrush, even if I barely left my car.

10 Minutes

I just had some matcha sludge and I’m sitting on the boat with the heater on thinking about what I’m going to do today. I’m going to go to Poplar at some point and possibly bring my laptop so I can work on the novel or possibly a blog post or possibly apply for jobs. And possibly climb of course, possibly with Matt. We’ll see. The only thing I know for sure is I just meditated for 14 minutes, aka sat there, and I also did a decent amount of stretching. I’ve been starting out the mornings with cat cow, child’s pose, baby cobra, and the one where you’re on your knees with your elbows on the ground way out in front of you and your hands in a fin above your head. That one’s good for the tris and the shoulders. And probably the low back. It’s imperative I fix my low back. I mean, it’s not terrible right now, but I couldn’t run or jump right now. That would be suicide. So the fact that I couldn’t run a mile right now without probably screwing my low back? Not good.

I can hear the sound of the lock doors opening. Not sure whether it’s the large or the small locks. Do they make the same noise? The sunset is about at 5:10pm now. Getting later everyday. It’s February 2nd, 2022, aka 2/2/22. I’m sure people are talking about this. I’m sure I’m underemployed right now. I’m sure I’m still obsessed with bouldering and I want to climb V6 and V7 as soon as possible and I’m going to climb The Engineer this summer. I know that’s a bold claim. But I’m going to do it. That problem does not require an insane amount of strength. It requires balance and technique and a head for heights. I have all three of those things in various measures. I used to have an amazing head for heights before I hurt my back.

I’m going to heal my back.

The mergansers are in full force near the boat.

So. Here’s the plan.

I’m going to tell you the plan.

Just give me a second.

The last week in July, or the first week in August, my friend Dan and I are going to sail my boat south to either San Diego or Ensenada, Mexico. And then we’ll either continue on together or I’ll continue on by myself, with the next goal being Scorpion Bay, Baja California Sur, and then probably San Jose del Cabo, and then the Sea of Cortez, and then either keep/sell the boat in La Paz or maybe even continue further south, to Puerto Vallarta and points beyond. That is the plan. If Dan can’t do it or otherwise backs out, I’m going to do it myself. The prospect terrifies me a bit, and excites me even more. I think the thing I find most daunting is the polyphasic sleep system.

HOWEVER.

However.

That is still a few moons off.

Until then what am I going to do?

That’s a great question.

Get in shape.

Boulder.

Eat well.

At some point I’d like to do a 72 hour fast.

I’d like to go down to Bend, to Bishop, to Tahoe, to Red Rocks — maybe even to Joshua Tree.

But more than anything I’d just like to focus on making my life in Seattle the best it can be. Because when you have your head in the clouds all day, when you’re CONSTANTLY dreaming of being somewhere else, when you’re constantly thinking your life would be BETTER somewhere else, it makes you neglect the here and now. And the here and now is all we have, and is all we’ll ever have.

Anyway.

Time to get dressed and go to Poplar? Shall I lift weights today? Do a bit of a core/chest workout? Hopefully not hurt my left shoulder.

We’ll see. Either way, spring is around the corner, and I’m excited, and I hope you’re excited too, because good things are coming, great things are coming.

I don’t see how it could be any other way. And I have excellent eyesight.

— Wetzler

P.S. This was just me writing for 10 minutes straight. That’s why it maybe sounds a bit rushed/not cohesive. But I think it’s also a good exercise and I might continue to do it. Just FYI.

 

Go Climb (or don’t)

I’m back on the boat. The road trip is over. All in all it was about 10 days, and not a ton of climbing happened.

One reason not a ton of climbing happened is that my body didn’t feel up to it. I was sacrificing my body to the V5 gods, and the V5 gods said, “We don’t want this.”

There was one specific day in Bishop where everything changed. I was in the Sads. I was by myself. I was trying to warm up on some easy stuff, and then basically wrenched the crap out of my body establishing on a dumb, V3 slab. I got to the top. It wasn’t satisfying. And I thought to myself, What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Do I even like climbing?

Enter: the time since that, up until present day, sitting on my boat, burning incense to ward off bad energy, listening to the drone of my heater, thinking about how I should probably be doing my Booking work right now, NOT doing my Booking work right now, wondering what I’m going to do with the rest of my day.

But first, rewinding to the end of the trip, in Bishop, California, the eastside of the Sierras, the Year of Yaweh Two Thousand and Twenty-One:

I’d thought that I’d give Molly V5 a few burns before I left Bishop. And then, if I was getting kind of close, I thought I might stay an extra day in Bishop so I’d have a chance to possibly finally send my first V5. What ACTUALLY happened, however, was that I drove to a spot just north of Lee Vining and looked for first ascents. I found a beautiful egg-shaped boulder that I dubbed The Dragon’s Egg that you can actually perceive with your very own retinae right here:

(The boulder almost right in the center of the frame.)

Anyway, this boulder had a nice looking line on it, probably somewhere in the V0-2 range, but I JUST WASN’T FEELING IT. So I pressed on. I got to Tahoe, and DIDN’T CLIMB THERE. Or actually I sort of climbed there. I checked out some boulders on Kingsbury Grade Road as I was getting in, specifically one that had a high right hand pinch, a crappy left hand, and a right heel hook, that was somewhat overhanging, and I tried for a bit just to see if I could heel hook with my right heel to free up my right hand. Which I couldn’t. I tried no other moves on the boulder. I didn’t WANT to try other moves on the boulder. And then I left.

And that, friends, is how my sessions have been lately. I show up. I look for lines (or just moves) that inspire me. I don’t look in the guidebook until after the sesh, or before the sesh for directions on how to get to the spot. Basically, I just do what feels good. And you know what? Hardcore trainers would probably say that’s the worst way to approach a session, the worst way to get better. But I don’t care. A) I know they’re wrong, B) It makes me happy, and C) I realized in Bishop that I had to start completely over. I had to re-learn my love for climbing, and I had to learn, once and for all, HOW TO CLIMB. I’m not really sure how to do that, but I think it involves approaching climbing the way I did when I first started bouldering outdoors. I didn’t try to do things like “train my weaknesses” (unless I wanted to). I didn’t make myself try a boulder over and over if I wasn’t feeling it. I basically didn’t do anything I didn’t want to. I would basically roam around the hills of Gold Bar, taking a burn on something here or there, and then move on. I wouldn’t sit at a boulder for three hours making no progress and hurting myself. The only time I would stay at a boulder for awhile is if I was making progress, having fun, and feeling like I was sort of getting close to sending. And you might be saying to yourself: Well, that approach to bouldering isn’t the right one. And the thing is: You’re absolutely wrong. Because it’s right for me. And if it’s right for me that’s all that matters.

OK, and now I sadly have to do some ACTUAL work at my ACTUAL job, because I’m a working stiff (see: semi-rigid) now. I wish you all a glorious day. Go climb. Or don’t.

– Wetzler