I’m Not Your Friend || Matcha Lattes at Woodland Coffee

I just got back from Woodland Coffee, where I got a matcha latte with oat milk and a LITTLE bit of honey. This was the first time I’d been to Woodland Coffee, which has a pretty horrible location, tucked on a sidestreet behind Safeway just off 15th Ave NW. Dastardly location. Closed to McDonald’s. I mean, there are some other businesses right next to it, and the building it’s in (brick) is actually sort of comely. But, I mean, it’s in Safeway’s shadow. It’s literally (figuratively, since the sun comes from the south) in Safeway’s shadow.

Now, how was their MATCHA LATTE????????? And why did I get it with oat milk, if I’m trying to keep the carbs down. Simple: I’m obsessed with oats. Oh, and their matcha latte is pretty bomb. I’m not sure what kind of matcha they use but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s ceremonial grade. Wouldn’t be surprised at all. Also, I liked that they ASKED if I wanted any kind of sweetener, to which I said, “A little bit of honey.” Unfortunately, all of the honey sank immediately to the bottom, which meant the first 7/8 of the matcha latte were basically unsweetened, and the last 1/8 was like sticking my head in a worker bee hive.

And then I walked to Ballard Market where I got an Ashwagandha Spicy Chai. And an Epic Bar. The Epic Bar was 100% grassfed venison, seasoned with thinks like celery and garlic powder. It was delicious. The texture was a bit gnarly, but it was delicious. 1 carb. Bomb.

Now I’m back on my boat wondering if I have a belly. I have physical therapy in a couple hours and then I’m gonna walk around Greenlake. Maybe get a matcha latte at The Retreat, everyone’s favorite Greenlake hipster cafe. The sun is glorious in Seattle today. Today the sun sets at 5:50pm!!!!!! Civil twilight till 6:21pm!!!!! What kind of tropical paradise are we living in????? On the way to the boat I noticed all the mallards were in the shade under the docks and I thought, Hmmmmm, that’s weird, I wonder why they’re in the shade and not enjoying the sun. But then I realized: They probably have winter plumage. Right now they’re built for temps in the 30’s and 40’s, so on a day like today in the sun they probably overheat. Poor, beautiful mallards. God, I love them. They keep me company everyday. And today I saw a flock of herons flying around the locks. A flock!!! It’s one thing to see one heron, it’s another to see a flock of them. It warmed my sternum. It warmed my aorta.

I have decided that in addition to looking for apartments in Leavenworth I should also be looking for apartments on this side of the mountains, but closer to bouldering. Places like Index and….well….Index. I don’t want to live in Gold Bar. I don’t want to live in Startup. And I certainly don’t want to live in Monroe. Why not? Because I don’t want to have to get tattoos and develop a drug problem. But Index I could definitely do! And Skykomish. The problem is finding a rental in these places, since they each have about 200 people. Maybe if I just show up on someone’s doorstep with my naked body wrapped in Tibetan prayer flags? Or I could just buy a van and live in the Index parking lot. Be a a true dirtbag. A true climber. But then I might have to start “sport climbing,” and we can’t have that. We can’t have ropes and carabiners and helmets and all that crap. That’s not climbing. That’s aid climbing. Clipping in??????? Give me a break. But living out of a van is actually not a 200% terrible idea. But still, Leavenworth.

My succulents are on the back of the boat enjoying the sunshine. The new one I got from Trader Joe’s seems to have integrated well with the others. I think they have accepted him. He is undoubtedly male, and possibly a bully. If he does not behave I will have to throw him in the lake. I have not watered him yet, nor do I intend to. Nature will water him when it sees fit, i.e. when I forget to bring him in overnight. Until then, he can wait patiently like all the other succulents.

Sunset on the Boat

The question on everyone’s mind right now, aka no one’s mind, aka my mind, is the following: How are red bananas different from regular bananas?

The other question I have is: Should I move to Leavenworth?

And by move I of course don’t mean move. I mean kinda move. I mean mostly move. I mean get an apartment there but keep my boat in Seattle so I have the best of boat (sorry) worlds. When it’s sunny and beautiful and I wanna be on the water? Chill on the boat. When I want to boulder my ass off and have dry weather and the stark beauty of the north-central Cascades? Leavenworth.

It would also make sense to rent in Leavenworth before I buy land there. This is what a responsible adult might do. But to be fair, the experience of living in an apartment complex would be very different from living off grid on a semi remote piece of land. But there are things you can figure out even living in an apartment complex. Do you like the community? Can you make friends there? Are the tourists too annoying? Are the summers way too hot? Is it too dry?

These, of course, and myriad other questions.

I’m back on the boat and I’m thinking about doing my physical therapy and I’m also thinking about doing some training, i.e. hanging. The roof of my boat is in fact perfect for hanging, and using core strength to bring my feet up to touch the mast actually sort of simulates climbing an overhang. The physical therapist gave me insane amounts of hope yesterday when she said she thought I might be able to start gym climbing in two weeks. I don’t think she realized how much hope she gave me. I have to get my body back in shape. I have to start getting ready for climbing. I will be so happy when I can just climb a red or a green at SBP. Not even purple let alone an orange or black or blue. A red. A green. Anything harder than a yellow, which is beyond VB and basically like climbing a ladder. Though climbing up and down yellows all day could be a GREAT way to build endurance. You cannot fall while climbing yellows. You can fall on reds. You can definitely fall on reds. And you can definitely fall on greens. But you can’t fall on yellows.

I’m drinking a Hop Tea and it’s delicious. Sixty mg caffeine. I just had a matcha latte from Whole Foods with unsweetened almond milk. Lunch was young coconut meat, a red banana and a thing of yoghurt. The yoghurt had a cream top. Bliss.

Slash I really wish I had caffeine and I’m gonna need to leave my boat later to get some.

Slash I bought a throw pillow from Target the other day.

Some observations as of late:

  1. I’m weirdly obsessed with oats.
  2. I bought a throw pillow. I am now an adult.
  3. The sunset is approaching 6pm!!!!! (and daylight savings is approaching!!!!!)
  4. A good book will see you through almost any bout of loneliness.
  5. My finger is fucked.

The sunset is casting an orange glow on my neighbor’s boat. In the distance I hear a train sounding its horn. A merganser plies the water near my boat. A seagull floats by in the distance, and a cormorant bullets by up close. So many bird species. Kingfisher, herons, mallards, mergansers, loons, even a beaver. A bald eagle. The whir of the heater at my feet. My orange puffy jacket on the bench seat across from me. My hands that smell like smoked salmon. The new basket I got from target holding all the clutter. The piles of books underneath the basket. So many books. So many books I read, and even more that I don’t read and will be put in one of those little lending libraries. Omega 3’s, mushroom powder, vitamin d, a laptop case, tortilla chips. The light on my boat seems faint. I want more rolled oats. One throw pillow isn’t enough; you gotta have two. Beef bone broth. Tech stocks tanking. Geese honking in the distance. Are they going north or south? Did some of the geese miss the memo this winter and go nowhere at all? A sparkling yerba mate from Trader Joe’s, and I wish I were curled up next to a fire right now. I’m going to go to Tahoe this summer and go bouldering. I’m gonna go to Bishop, and J-Tree, and Rocky Mountain National Park, and Roy, NM, and Spain, and France, and British Columbia. A thank you note that needs to be written. A foam roller. Physical therapy exercises undone. A masters in Spanish, C1 in French, B2 in German. A pint of blueberries and the sun continues to set.

 

She Said || The Road to Recovery

I just had a physical therapy appointment. In person. By Greenlake. It was wonderful. I think the best part was when the physical therapist massaged my hamstring. And then I did exercises, all of which felt fine EXCEPT for the lateral walking with a band wrapped around my ankles for resistance. My LCL had to take a LITTLE strain, and I wasn’t used to that. But it’s fine. It’s exactly what I’m there for.

Afterward I got a disgusting matcha latte at Chocolati Cafe and then walked around Greenlake. I think it’s something like 2.8 miles. My knee felt fine. It was gloriously sunny. Vitamin D coursing into my body. My heart singing looking at the treetops, at the blue sky, at the geese and ducks. People walking around only counterclockwise. The odd family or couple walking against the flow of traffic. Me cursing them for it.

Then afterward I went to the Northeast Library Branch to get Desert Solitaire, by Edward Abbey. I think this is going to be an amazing book. Please, God, don’t be pretentious. Please god make it like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance but more nature-centric. Please god let him be one of my new favorite authors.

I was stoked because the first part of the book mentions Moab and Arches National Park, which I drove through on my way back from Mexico. Moab is a terrible town. It’s basically a strip mall with gas stations. Sounds like it used to be charming, though. The only people I greeted were two Mormons on their missions who always say “hi” SUPER enthusiastically, but I didn’t have it in me to talk to them. Sometimes I like talking to the Mormons. But this time it just kinda made me sad. I did want to say, “Man, people get sent all over the world on their missions. They learn cool languages like Finnish and Russian and Swahili. And you guys are in….Moab. Are you bummed?” But I’m sure they weren’t bummed. They were spreading the word of Jesus Christ Our Redeemer. So I’m sure they were stoked. I was stoked to get a matcha latte the next morning. I was stoked to have a fuck ton of driving time to myself. I was stoked to drive through canyons.

The physical therapist said….

She said…..

She says…..

I says…..

She said, “—”

I said, “So can I go climbing after today’s session.”

She said, “Give it a couple weeks and we’ll discuss.”

I said, “OK.”

I threw a tantrum.

She said, “Your LCL is healing great. I was unable to provoke symptoms today.”

I said, “That’s wonderful news. I want my LCL to be stronger than ever. I want my LCL to be the strongest ligament in my body. I want it to bully the other ligaments in my knee.”

She said, “Just give it a couple weeks.”

I said, “…..”.

She said, “?????????”

I said, “–“.

She said, “.”

It is gloriously sunny. I’m thinking of going over to Bainbridge. I’m thinking of getting a FocusAid. I’m thinking of applying to more jobs. I’m thinking of calling someone east of the Cascades. I’m thinking…..

– MTW

You Can’t Cheat || At Home on the Boat

Numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers. My goal for traffic for this blog for February was 300 views, and since it’s surpassed that I feel like I can take a bit of a break. Or breathe easier. The goal for March will also be 300 view. Eventually I will raise that goal to 500. Eventually to 1,000. My friend the other day raised the question of at some point doing online ads for the blog. But that will have to wait. That just seems ridiculous right now. Right now the only two goals are: 1) enjoy writing, and 2) have SOME readership.

Like, even two people a day and I’m happy. But zero? Might as well be journaling. Which I also like.

I’m on the boat drinking the Om Mushroom Master Blend. It’s got every kind of mushroom you could think of. I got it with my stimulus a few days ago and expected to be superhuman sometime by the end of the week. Which didn’t happen. If anything I just had digestive problems, though I doubt it was from the mushroom powder. Probably from the Vitamin D. Or the turmeric on an empty stomach. Or actually probably from all the keto crap I was eating last week, all the stuff with chicory root and all this other stuff they put in keto foods to make it taste better or have more fiber but that your stomach can’t digest AT ALL. So it wrecks your digestive system. Look: With fasting, with keto, with Whole 30, with any of these diets, you can’t cheat. That’s the end of the story. If you try to “cheat” with coffee on a fast you’re screwed. Insulin levels through the roof. If you try to “cheat” on keto with all kinds of sugar alcohols and chicory root fiber you’re screwed. Your stomach will be a disaster. When will we (see: I) learn that it’s all super simple, that you just eat a diet that’s mostly plant-based, having meat on special occasions, and keeping things like gluten and dairy and sugar in check but not feeling the need to cut them out completely? It’s so simple. And yet I don’t learn. Rice, vegetables, water. Maybe some tea. Maybe a ham hock on Thanksgiving. But that’s it!!! Don’t complicate things!!!

The market is in the shitter today and it’s got me pretty bummed out.  But also kinda stoked for the rebound.

The other day going to SBP was one of the most heart-wrenching things I’ve ever done. But I will not start climbing just to climb. I will wait until my body is at least somewhat ready.

I finally found a good book. I ditched The Overstory. If you’re thinking of reading this book, please don’t. It’s so pretentious. It’s MFA Shit Lit. It’s so horrible. It’s right up there with Cynthia d’Aprix Sweeney’s The Nest. Two books that convinced so many people, FOOLED so many people, and yet I guarantee there’s a deeper consciousness out there that knows just how terrible these books are. They’re an affront to literature and everything that’s pure and holy in this world. And the thing is either the authors are so delusional they think their books are good because everyone’s always telling them so, or even they, somewhere deep down, know that they’ve written a steaming pile of shit.

Anyway, the GOOD book I got is called Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee. The line that convinced me to buy it came on page 2 and was, “At that moment, Casey would’ve bartered her body for a cigarette.” Done. Went to the checkout counter at Amazon Books (I know!), bought it, said, “Hell no I don’t have a Prime membership,” and walked away happy. Didn’t go to Chipotle. Walked back to my car via Ravenna Park.

Which reminds me. The Subi really needs to go to the shop.

Anyway. Hope you all are well today. Trust in your natural responses.

– Wetz

Seize and Throttle || Back on the Boat

Ugh, I kind of feel terrible today. Maybe it was all the matcha lattes yesterday. Maybe it was the carb loading before dinner. I just kind of feel…..out of it. Like, not into it. Like, all I wanna do is stare into the distance.

Today marks day three of injecting BPC-157 into my left knee. I know it’s anecdotal, but my knee feels great. Yesterday I even did a little jogging on it, and for the first time it didn’t hurt upon breaking into a trot. I also walked about six miles yesterday, which is one of my highest totals since The Injury. For those of you who are new to this blog, or new to life, or new to injuries, or new to bouldering, or new to Seattle, or new to the world of liveaboards, or new to the world of winter, or new to injecting peptides, I injured my LCL on New Year’s Eve of 2020. Since then I have taken what has probably been the most aggressive approach I’ve ever taken to injury healing. I’m attacking this thing on several fronts: diet, peptides, movement and physical therapy. The “movement” part will hopefully increase significantly after I see my physical therapist next Wednseday. I plan to ask him: “What do you think about me running gross amounts of stairs? Taking them two at a time, etc etc?” I hope his reponse will be: “Mark, you’re ready for stairs.” There are only so many bouldering videos you can watch before you have to get out there and try it yourself. But bouldering videos are a great way to improve. When you get out there on the blocs, you find yourself imitating the pros…

AKA I might go get a Patagonia fleece at REI today.

AKA it was sunny yesterday.

AKA how is the Subi still hanging in there.

AKA Nana’s Green Tea.

Aka unsweetened.

aka.

In other news. My succulent is doing better than ever. I’ve had this succulent at least over a year now. We’ve been through some tough times together, falling in the lake, getting left out in the rain, the pandemic. And we’ve come through these times as better people/plants. She/he/it looks better than I’ve ever seen her/him/it. Her leaves are supple. They’re almost vibrant. I think this summer could really be her summer. I’ll transplant her to a bigger pot. Maybe I’ll even get another succulent of the same species and put them next to each other. Just kind of let them hang out.

Is it time to go to REI now?

Yesterday the best matcha latte of the three was DEFINITELY from Milstead. You see, they mix some kind of madagascar vanilla mixture in with their lattes, making them just a little bit sweet, and a little bit vanilla-y. It was sublime. If I wasn’t doing keto today, I would definitely be back there. And if they didn’t cost almost $7. And if the place was a little less pretentious. And if they didn’t have Nick Drake playing when you walked in. Come on, Nick Drake? Who are we trying to impress here? What year are we in?

The second best matcha latte was from Mr. West in U Village. The problem with theirs is they serve it in a glass….glass and it never seems to be hot enough. Also, they used to slightly sweeten them with honey whether you asked or not. Just, “We know what’s good for you. And what’s good for you is a little honey.” I like when places do that. But now they don’t sweeten them anymore, and they taste like cardboard. But the milk was steamed perfectly.

The third best was from….ok I guess I only had two.

One was a REBBL matcha latte in a bottle. Which of course was delicious.

OK, time to leave the boat and seize and throttle the day. Wish me luck.

– Wetz

Just Nudge || Road to Recovery

Random boulders in northern New Mexico.

I am so happy to be here on the boat, sitting with a cup of a green tea, the heater caressing my shins, checking stocks, checking the sunset time, checking the weather for the next few days, and thinking about what I’d like to do with the rest of my life.

It is joyous.

Sometimes when you’re struggling or down a bit or not sure what to do next, or somehow unhappy with your current circumstances, the only thing you can do is get in your car and drive 7,000 miles. I’m kidding, of course. Sort of. Is it ironic that I needed to drive 7,000 miles to realize that I would be better off not driving anywhere at all. Unless that place is Gold Bar, WA, of course, where I will of course have to drive as soon as I can climb again. Oh, and Leavenworth. I must go to Leavy. But the climbing season hasn’t really started in Leavy yet. It won’t really start until March or April, when things stop being snowy.

The appointment with the physical therapist yesterday was incredibly fruitful. For the first time I feel truly optimistic about my recovery. My goal when I talked about this a couple weeks ago was to be climbing sometime in April. But now I might even move that up again. I think I could be back in the climbing gym in March. If I eat well, if I inject the shit out of my knee with BPC-157, and if I really go to town on rehab and physical therapy exercises, I think I could be back in the gym sometime in the next month. Which would be incredible. There is nothing I want more. But of course it will be the gym — climbing outside will have to wait longer. Climbing outside = gnarlier landings, more unpredictable landings, more unpredictable everything, really. I could go climb a yellow in the gym today. But that’s not really climbing. That’s more: Can you get up a ladder without falling? I could probably climb a green today, too. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable falling. I wouldn’t feeling comfortable being up high. I never realized until this injury how important falling is in bouldering. Generally I feel really good falling, I almost like it. I take pride in my falling. But now falling is terrifying. Somehow I will have to get my body ready to fall again, and fall hard. And from places on high.

In other news. I feel like there was other news. Oh yes, I have started implementing certain lifestyle changes that are already paying sweeping dividends. I have implemented some diet changes, and I don’t want to give too much away here but they basically involve having less caffeine, or having less of a certain kind of caffeine, and also having less sugar. And by less sugar I mean less SUGAR, less CARBS, since carbs are basically sugar. Also, I think I’m realizing that different carbs affect me differently. I ate a bunch of tortilla chips yesterday and didn’t really feel inflamed. But other kinds of carbs do make me feel inflamed. I can feel it in my knee. I desperately need to buy a blood glucose meter. AKA they sell pure oxygen canisters at Fred Meyer now.

I am trying to nudge myself in the right direction. Every day. Every day, just nudge myself a bit. Don’t push! Don’t force! Just nudge. You don’t get anything done by forcing. Whatever you force will rebound upon itself with an equal force. But if you just nudge. If you encourage. Then you can do anything. Like wake up at the same time every morning. Which is actually kinda huge.

Another cup of gree tea. Barcelona play PSG at noon. I hope Kylian Mbappe scores a hat trick but Barca still somehow destroy them. I would murder for a matcha latte right now but don’t want to leave the boat. I can’t eat Go Macro bars anymore because they have 39g of carbs. Damnit. I just finished the book News of the World and it was incredible. Now to watch the movie. The preview looks terrible.

I am sending love to you all and wish you all a wonderful day,

Wetz

Somewhere in the American West.

Last Day || Richland, WA to Seattle, WA

Somewhere near Richland.

As I walked to Wal-Mart this morning I thought, Why should I rush to get home? Why should I rush to get this Wal-Mart experience over with? Why should I rush to have my matcha tea, why should I rush to get back to the hotel, why should I rush to see what breakfast they have, why should I rush up to my room, to get packed and changed and ready to go, to write this post.

Why should I rush to do anything at all?

We spend our lives rushing about, only to realize it did nothing to hasten or delay the arrival of death. When you die will it matter all the stuff you did? Will it matter, all the things you crammed into every day? The things you stressed about?

It’s snowing outside the Home 2 Suites by Hilton in Richland, WA, and my tea has just finished brewing. I’m sitting on the couch in my immaculate room, this, finally, the NICEST room I’ve stayed in this entire trip. It took till the last night to find the perfect hotel. That’s what this trip was about, staying in hotels. Finding myself in hotels across the US and Mexico, watching YouTube videos. Watching chess videos. Watching bouldering videos. Drinking tea.

Today I’ll pack up my stuff, leave my hotel room, start my car, amble onto the freeway, and drive home to Seattle. I have mixed feelings about this. Sure, I’m excited as fuck. That goes without saying. But at the same time if there’s ANYTHING this trip has taught me is that arriving at your destination doesn’t matter. Things aren’t going to be great “once you get there.” Things aren’t going to be great “once you get to Guam,” or “once you get to Mexico,” or “once you go on vacation,” or “once your kids are back in school,” or “once you get that job promotion,” or “once you start making more money,” or “once you start eating better.”

OK, the eating better thing is actually kind of a big one.

But seriously, we spend our entire leaves thinking we’ll be happy ONCE SOMETHING HAPPENS. Our ability to be happy is so conditional. Watch, sometime, yourself having these thoughts, and then watch what happens when you get the thing that you thought would be it, or the place you thought that once you got there everything would be fine, and watch how as soon as these things are attained your little rat brain goes searching for some other requirement to make it happy. Oh, we’ll be happy once we get to our hotel and we can relax and unpack our stuff and go swimming in the pool. But then you get to your hotel, and other little things come up. Where are we going to dinner? We’ll be happy once we just get some dinner. We’ll be happy once we just get a good night’s rest. And on and on and on and on until it becomes, oh, we’ll be happy once this vacation is just over and we’re home.

(hold on a sec while I get my tea).

Or maybe you guys don’t have this problem. Maybe I’m the only one sitting in the Hilton in Richland eating sardines with jalapenos for breakfast because he thinks a low-carb diet will solve his knee troubles.

Anyway.

Now I’m worried that this entire room smells like sardines. K, I really need to drink my tea.

All I know is this: this is literally the only thing I know: that my body feels better when I eat a diet lower in carbs, lower in grains. I feel like I have less inflammation. Like if I eat a big thing of rice? My fingers and joints instantly start cracking. I feel like my body’s on fire. But when I eat a low carb diet? My body feels lubed up. I feel light. I feel like a kid again, albeit a kid with a partially torn LCL.

Except maybe it’s not torn anymore. Maybe it’s kind of healed and it just needs to continue in the remodeling phase and I need to load and……all that other stuff.

And so, I’m going to savor the drive today. Fuck that, I’m going to savor everything about today. I’m going to savor the wonderful sound my car makes when starting up, the familiar purr despite always fearing a bit it won’t start up. I’m going to savor the crunch of the tires on the snow as I slowly drive out of the hotel parking lot and towards the arterials. I’m going to savor the whine of the engine as I pull onto an onramp and get it up to speed on the interstate. I’m going to savor driving by Yakima. I’m going to savor driving by Ellensburg (that one’ll be tough for some reason). I’m going to savor the snow that will inevitably be falling. I’m going to savor the first glimpse I get of Seattle as the skyscrapers peak over Beacon Hill when I come out of the tunnel after Mercer Island.

And if all this goes to shit, if my car doesn’t start, if there’s tons of traffic going over the pass, then, well, I’m going to savor that too. No expectations. Savoring everything that comes my way, including this shitty cup of earl grey. Savoring the lingering taste of sardines in my mouth.

No, but seriously.

 

Welcome to Iconik Coffee Roasters || Santa Fe, NM


Hiiiiiiii, welcome to Iconik Coffee Roasters in Santa Fe. My name is Katie, am I going to be administering your colonic today?

I’m sorry, colonic? I just wanted to get some tea. 

Yesssssss, well it’s not actually a colonic, but that’s the way some of our customers feel after seeing our prices. See, what I’m going to do right now is take a few tea leaves, put them in one of those fancy bags that hangs off the side, fill it with water, and then charge you $4.50. So that’s why I call it a colonic, because it makes many of our customers feel that it’s taking something from the very depths of their souls. 

Wait, a tea costs $4.50? 

Yep, let me just go ahead and ring you up. Will you be paying with credit card? Bit Coin? Ethereum? Other alt coin? Perhaps you’d like to do a wire transfer? Also, just so you know, after I run your card I’m going to do that thing where I swivel the screen over to you and it’s going to ask you what kind of exorbitant tip you’d like to leave me. Because you see not only am I charging you an arm and a pancreas for your tea, I think you should tip on top of it, too, cuz like, living wage, right?

Right….

Ok, I’ll just go ahead and get that yerba mate started for you.

Great.

(comes back)

Ok, here you go. I noticed you only left an 18% tip on your tea. Now, that’s “Good,” but you might’ve noticed that 20% was “Great” and anything above that was “Excellent.” Do you want to talk about why you left such a miserable tip? Are you having money problems? Did you recently get laid off. It’s ok, we can talk about it for a second. Just keep your mask on and don’t look me in the eye. 

I think I’m just gonna go.

Have a wonderful day. Come back again soon. 

Thus went my yerba mate-getting experience in Iconik Coffee Roasters here in Santa Fe just a moment ago. Now, I talked about this place yesterday. I went there for a matcha latte. It was delicious. It was one of the finest-crafted matcha lattes I’ve ever had. The almond milk actually tasted like almonds. It was creamy. They did latte art.

But $7 for a matcha latte?

Get the hell out of town.

Today I went back there for a yerba mate cuz I noticed yesterday they had it and I wanted a pick-me-up before hitting the road again today and driving to Moab. And the yerba mate cost $4.50. $4.50 for loose leaf tea. And then they have the gall to swing the the screen over to you making you feel like you need to tip. Please don’t swivel your screen over to me. I don’t want to touch your screen. I don’t want to touch any screen. And please don’t ask for a tip when I’m already paying you a week’s salary (from when I worked, of course) for your damn tea. Swivel the screen back to yourself. Now swivel your little hips around and make the tea. So I can get out of here and drive to Moab.

Anyway. This place really does have good product. But my god the whole vibe is pretentious.  It’s one of those places that has shitty art on the walls and they think that just because they’re asking $800 for a painting it somehow makes the painting good. I’m afraid that’s not how it works. Your painting looks like a troupe of ducks took a crap on a canvas. That actually might be more interesting. I would actually probably pay more for that than that painting. In fact, when I get home to my boat I might actually leave a canvas on the end of the dock for a month and see what happens to it. I’ll call it, “Le Canard.”

God, why do I sound bitter this morning.

I’m not bitter. I’m stoked as fuck. I had a great time in Santa Fe, it’s now one of my favorite cities in the US and I can’t wait to come back to New Mexico, to come here again and also go bouldering in Roy, the weather’s great, the Subi has new tires (well, patched), and we’re ready to hit the road. And I have a yerba mate in my hand right now. And I just took a picture of the chiles hanging outside my window. And I slept well last night. And I got kombucha and mate this morning. And I’m contemplating whether to go to Whole Foods to get cash back so I can leave a tip for the housekeepers in USD or if I should just leave the pesos I have in my wallet.

Plus I sort of did yoga this morning.

Oh! And the best part about this morning? Yesterday I wrote down a list of life changes I want to implement in the upcoming weeks. One is to wake up at the same time everyday. That time, for whatever reason when I’ve done this in the past, has always been 7:30am. Not too early. Not too late. And this morning when I woke up, stretched, fluttered my bleary eyes, and then finally reached over and grabbed my phone and turned it on and looked at the clock guess what time it was?

7:30am.

Mountain time.

And now it’s time to hit the mountains, Iconik mate in hand.

 

 

Time for Bed | Pecos, TX

I had a revelation today: I’m gonna be able to sport climb before I can boulder again. Why will I be able to sport climb? Because it’s lower impact. You don’t have to worry about falling. When you feel yourself start to go you can just tell your belayer to take and then just chill. Whereas with bouldering you have to worry about getting to the lip, not having any strength, and having to bail all the way to your pad. Or missing your pad altogether. I can’t imagine doing any kind of intense bouldering right now. I can’t imagine doing any kind of bouldering at all.

I’m in Pecos, Texas. And my neighbors are loud.

Crossing the border from Mexico into the US today was easy. Almost too easy. There was only one car in front of me. I guess this is something good that comes out of the pandemic, the fact that the border is basically closed and only US citizens can get in. I spent all of yesterday stressing about crossing the border and it turned out to be ridiculously easy. Go to the drive through to cancel your Temporary Import Permit. Get in line for the border. Pay the toll leaving Mexico. Ignore the guy yelling at you to stop who’s actually trying to sell you something. Show your passport to the first set of US customs and border patrol people. Choose a line (the most stressful part). Inevitably choose the wrong line. Get behind someone who’s getting full cavity searched. Finally get to the front. Answer the questions. Drive into Texas.

And then, of course, you’re in Texas, which is a mixed bag. It’s a huge state. I spent all day driving and didn’t even get out of it. I’m closed to the New Mexico border, and thank god. I think I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and go get some matcha in Carlsbad. Then drive through Roswell, and stay tomorrow night in Albuquerque or Santa Fe or a small town outside one of those. And then, what, onto Utah? Onto Arches National Park? Maybe?

This hotel is so nice. They have a gym, which I worked out in (bench and pull-ups), they give you cookies when you check in, and there’s a barbecue place just down the street. I had to get barbecue while in Texas. I got pulled pork with a side of coleslaw and a side of baked beans. And then I walked back to my hotel and watched episodes of Seinfeld. And then I figured out where I might drive tomorrow, where I might stay, etc etc etc etc

Etc.

And now it’s time for bed.

Matcha Lattes in Monterrey

Monterrey??????? Maybe.

Nothing like lying with your shirt off on the bed a the Hotel Krystal in Monterrey, Mexico, leg elevated, not watching the Super Bowl. I just had one of the best matcha lattes I’ve ever had. Well, two atually. I went to a place called Tierra Libre that I found by googling “matcha” using the map of Monterrey and it came up. I got a hot one with in-house made almond milk, and a cold one with peanut milk. I never thought a latte could be made using peanut milk. This might’ve just changed everything. I’ve been looking for coffee replacements over the years, and so far the two front-runners are: Matcha lattes, yerba mate, and black tea. OK, that was three. But right now matcha is winning the charge. Yerba mate is amazing but it has too much caffeine. Sure, if you’re in Buenos Aires, hanging out on an esplanade with a group of your friends, passing the gourd around, passing the thermos around, passing some empanadas around, maybe kissing some guys on the cheek, then you’d be a fool not to have mate. But if you’re at home by yourself on a boat in Seattle, then, yeah, it’s a bit too much.

I remember the first time an Argentinian guy went in for the kiss. Now I’m almost offended when they don’t.

The question is this: Should I wait for Tierra Libre to open tomorrow at 1pm before hitting the road, throwing off the entire timing of my day, but allowing me to sample yet another one of these matcha dream theaters?

No.

Obviously not.

Tierra Libre?????? Definitely.

Tomorrow I need to get a decent start. I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow, I will not fib. I have to drive a couple hours to the border, dodging what will surely be a gauntlet of bogus speed checks manned by “cops” looking to help me out by not sending me all the way to the station to pay my “ticket.” Then I have to figure out how to get my Temporary Import Permit cancelled. Then I have to figure out how to get in line for the border. Then I have to actually cross the border, and then I have to possibly drive the seven or so hours to Pecos, Texas. I mean, that’s sort of the loose plan. I could always stay another day in Monterrey. I’m absolutely not going to do that, but I could.

For dinner I got a portobello burger with salad and a chai latte with peanut milk, also from Tierra Libre. Before tip it cost $7.16.

High times at the Hotel Krystal. I just asked the room service people to bring up a big bag of ice so I could ice my knee. I read today that loading a healing ligament (not to the point of re-rupturing it, of course), is the best thing you can do for it, so I walked up the ten flights of stairs to my room, which normally wouldn’t be much exertion but pushed my knee a bit. Which is great. I want to push my knee. I’m back to watching tons of bouldering videos, starting to get stoked again. A couple weeks ago the idea of climbing a V0 or doing the first few moves on a boulder, as long as they were easy and you weren’t too high off the ground, sounded impossible. Now it sounds mostly possible. I mean, it doesn’t sound particularly smart, but it sounds possible.

The thing you need to do when you get injured is inject peptides into yourself. It’s the only way to heal.

I’m running dangerously low on water but what am I gonna do? Am I gonna leave my hotel room at 10:30pm at night to go to a convenience store? Claro que no.

Who wants to drive to Pecos with me tomorrow?

I don’t know when I’ll be back in Seattle but I do know this: I’m gonna make a physical therapy appointment for sometime fairly so so it forces me to get back. And then, what, gym membership semi-soon at SBP????? Are you kidding me????? Crushing slab??????

K I’ve literally been elevating my leg for like the last two hours.

Time to not watch YouTube and go to bed.

Aka time to watch Alex Puccio videos and get stoked.

Stained glass!

– Wetz