Quotes of the Day

“The self-drilling flutes of the headless compression screw make predrilling unnecessary in most cases. Predrilling is recommended in dense bone and arthrodeses, as the axial force necessary for inserting self-drilling screws could temporarily distract the fragments.” -Synthes

“To choose the appropriate screw length, subtract approximately 2mm to account for fracture gap compression and the desired countersinking depth.” -Synthes

“If loss of compression makes screw removal necessary, follow the instructions on page 20.” -Synthes

Five Ways You’re Cooking Rice Completely and Irrevocably Wrong

1) Not adding salt to the water before boiling it.

Adding salt to the water before boiling it causes the water to boil at a higher temperature and allows for cleaner, more efficient cooking.

2) Not sticking your hand into the boiling water to see if it’s really boiling.

This is called the “false boil.” Originally observed in 1830 by Swedish physicist named Max Armstrong Armstrong Ericsson Leif Armstrong Leif Max Johannes, this is a phenomenon in which water that looks like it’s in a roiling boil is actually lukewarm or even cold.

He wrote: “There exists only one manner in which one can be assured water is actually boiling. One must submerge his hand in the water for at least five minutes. If the flesh starts to separate from the bone, the water has most likely reached a “boiling” state (Knarlsbaad Swedish medical journal,1832).

3) Not adding cumin to your rice

If you want real rice, you must add cumin. Rice without cumin is “ungerminated,” and can leave a bilis-like extract in your gall bladder. Therefore, in order to make the guacamole right, add diced onions, garlic, a little tomato, and sea salt to taste. Guacamole is an excellent dish to serve at family gatherings and chic dinner parties. It’s exotic but not too exotic. It’s green but not too green. It’s Mexican but not too Mexican.

4) Not leaving the lid on!!!!!!!(!!!!)

This rule can be stressed enough and will be stressed enough in this paragraph. When the rice is done, leave the lid on and let it sit for at least 5-10 minutes. This allows the rice to “mature” and move from an adolescent stage to a fully adult stage ready for consumption and/or consumation. The quality of the rice improves many fold during this stage (6.38 fold, to be exact).

5) Not cooking rice

Some Anthony-Bourdains-in-training get it wrong from the beginning. They attempt to cook rice and accidentally cook pasta. Or they attempt to cook rice and watch a Seattle Mariners baseball game. To properly cook rice, make sure you’ve actually got rice. It should be white, small, elongated and, when un-cooked, hard. Smell it. Does it smell like rice? Or does it smell like a piece of crumpled up toilet paper? If it doesn’t smell like rice it’s probably toilet paper.

So there you have it. Cooking rice isn’t that hard if you follow these five simple guidelines. Of course, as with most things, you get out of it what you put into it. So if you put in rice, you’ll probably get rice. But it if you put in rice without cumin, you might just get beef-bolognese.   

How to Tell if an Orange is Good

When picking out oranges the first thing you need to ask yourself is, “What kind of orange do I want?”

There are many factors that influence this: mood, age, weight — even zodiac sign. Say you’re a female Taurus, for example, age 29, with a streak for lust. You want a blood orange (obviously). Say you’re a middle-aged Sagittarius who’s just gotten out of a tough relationship and needs a bit of a pick me up. This is tricky; most people would say navel orange (it’s comfort food) but what you really want is more subtle: a tangerine. Finally, say you’re an aging professor who’s just retired and you wake up one morning feeling confused and jaded. What to buy? A clementine.

Once you figure out what kind of orange you want (though maybe “citrus” would be more appropriate since some of the aforementioned aren’t oranges), the next step is to pick a good one. But how do you know if it’s good?

1) Skin

Oh, the age-old debate. Except it’s not age-old because the answer is clear: unlike a pudgy middle-school student prone to getting bullied, a good orange needs thin skin. Thin skin signifies the following: dense, juicy nutrient-rich goodness inside. So pick up the orange. Toss it around. Feel it.

2) Weight

Weight is a huge factor when picking an orange. Generally, the heavier the better. You’re looking for a cannonball, not a whiffle ball. Why? Because liquid is heavy. Juicy is heavy.

Which means you should really be focusing on the most important factor of all:

3) Density

When picking an orange, density is king. Or possibly queen. Or possibly duke. Or possibly duchess. Or possibly prince.

Have you ever opened an orange to an aerated, desiccated mess? Makes you want to scream, right? Or stick your hand through a window and watch it bleed? Measuring orange density is a skill that can only be acquired through one activity: picking up lots of oranges. If you don’t think you’re a good density judge, go to the grocery store and spend an afternoon picking up every single orange they have. Small and heavy? Dense and good. Big and light? Not so dense, not so good.

4) Feeling

This one’s a bit mystic, and rightly so — finding good oranges is a mystical experience. For example: Pick up two oranges, and hold them away from your body. Now say the syllable “Om” and hold it for 30 seconds. Then say the syllable “Re” and hold it for 30 seconds. If you’ve done it right, one of the oranges should appear higher when you open your eyes. This is not the one you want. You want the lower orange (it’s probably heavier). However, if you don’t have time to do this, you can revert to the age-old standby: Talk to your produce. Talk to them the same why you might talk to a dog.  “Who’s a good orange? Who’s a good orange?”

Bottom line, don’t be afraid to get a little wacky.  Because there’s only one thing wackier than talking to your fruit or picking up 100 different oranges. And that’s eating a bad one.